Tech Trouble A La FAH

The 1st Patreon Q & A
''This is my write-up of the stream that was lost due to hilarious tech issues. "You had to be there!", yes, but we still want to restore whatever can be restored for the FAHn archives!''

There Were Signs
The first message we got from FAH!Official on the chat stream didn't bode well...

"'Arms has spilled water all over himself.'"

But then eventually, FAHshionably (which is fractionally) late as per usual, the screen switched on:"'We are liiiiiive!'"

When the lads appeared on screen they were clearly expecting a different camera to have them in shot. They joked about sitting there, neatly lined up shoulder to shoulder as if about to recite a New Year’s letter at us (much like we’ve seen in their Our Top 10 Favourite Sketches video at the end of last year, as it happens). Some clumsy shuffling ensued. Arms whined about having rented a load of “fancy equipment” for nothing and Hog – ever the practical person - yanked Foil’s tiny handheld thing (the connected one) off of wherever it was balanced on, to give us a tour of the office, and said equipment (which admittedly did look rather fancy: A for effort, Arms!).Hog went on to show us the FAH toilets, which were coincidentally featured in today's sketch (Hidden Benefits of Mouth Masks) and demonstrated that the "male" sign could make anything into a toilet by ripping it off the door and slapping it on the sofa, announcing with a swagger:

"'Now it is a toilet seat!'"

(Personally, I was tickled that they had a sign at all, being in a unisex comedy group, but it's a Real Office after all and Real Office Workers must do things properly or not at all.)

After the furniture rearrangements and 360 virtual office tour was completed (well, abandoned), the lads settled down again shoulder to shoulder. Foil took up a little over half the screen and most of the autofocus, while the others where elbowed off to the background, Hog being the most negatively affected by the whole thing. My comment on this upstaging issue got picked up by our hero and he orchestrated some additional shuffling until order was – if not restored – at least vaguely approaching normality.

Foil, lauded by the PUBG Pair as the Principal Event Organiser – the lads nearly burst into spontaneous applause there – kicked off the A part of the Q&A by conjuring up his sheet of paper on which he’d printed out Some Questions. In a dramatic turn of events, he proudly revealed he hadn’t shown them to the other two, which was obviously a situation he thoroughly enjoyed. Never one to go off-brand for very long, Foil also apologetically explained he hadn’t been able to include all 700 questions that had been sent in. And mentioned the “likes glitching” that was brought to his attention by a couple of fans. All of which he did in a way that really brought out his eyes.

Foil's Favourite
Not even halfway through his announcement that he’d like to start with his “favourite question out of ALL the questions”, he got interrupted by Hog who disagreed with that strategy. But Foil stood his ground like a Straight Man With A Plan, and proceeded. The questions (from Bex Learman: 60 likes and well deserved!) was:

"“If you were suddenly arrested for no reason and your face was flashed all over the news, what would your family and friends assume that you did?”"

Now, this was apparently not such an easy question to grasp. Arms conveniently ignored the “arrested” part of the premise and went with “I will have been murdered!”. Foil picked up on that, twisting his words slightly in retorting Arms (being Arms) WOULD think that getting himself killed is more likely than him committing a crime! Foil had to read out the question again to a confused Arms who still attempted to weasel out of this hypothetical situation.

Hog meanwhile entertained the crowd with his suggestion for himself: that he'd definitely be wrongly accused and might be arrested for “being too gorgeous”.

Foil settled on “evading his electricity bills”, conveniently forgetting to mention that he was once, in the early days of FAH, questioned by the gardaí for sitting in the middle of a busy crossroads dressed as a caveman in a suit.

Haircut Slags
It took us nearly 10 minutes but we finally decided to launch slag attack in the chatroom, targeting Arms’s new (and uncalled for!) haircut. A tiny bit of this moment is  but I will transcribe it here: Immediately after the vid sadly cuts out, Arms – after glancing at the chat for half a second with a bemused look on his face – called the Hair Slaggers:

"“The Usual Suspects”,"

which is an accolade we have deserved at this point.

Attempts At Answering
Back on the question at hand, Arms eventually managed to make up a scenario for himself in which he could convincingly get caught breaking the law. Or it could have been an anecdote! It involved his mum (Arms loves mentioning his mum) going on and on about gas bills and Arms never looking at them, ending up getting a letter from Revenue.

Hog, meanwhile, had finally decided he’d probably have committed murder and went on for a while about dragging dead bodies through the streets of Dublin, which he would have probably started to act out using either the sofa or Arms if Foil had allowed it. But More Questions must be asked! (more cheat sheet waving from Foil here, to get things moving swiftly along.)

Hog still managed to get the last word in by stating firmly that Foil was definitely the potential serial killer out of the three of them. And he seems like such a nice young lad! You just never can tell, can you!

Hog Risks
Someone – now a villain to the FAHns! – mentioned on the chat that the sound wasn’t “the best”. Hog, still in messing-modus anyway, got up and pulled a lead... a brave but fatal decision! The sound went and didn't return.

Hog needed no further encouragement to shoot across the room, over to the Prop Department and make a triumphant re-entry, strumming Foil’s guitar and serenading the members of FAH who were actually trying their best to sort out the tech. (It was suggested to me that he might’ve mimed the singing but that doesn’t – ahem – sound like a very Hog thing to do.)

Next, he put the guitar away and clowned around on “set”, trying to squeeze through the fake walls (which is why they were in such a state for the rest of the stream, in case you were wondering).

At last, Foil and Arms gave up. Foil typed in the chat that they were going to have to kill this stream and start another one (which you can see on the Patreon… if you’re a Patron!) while Arms just sat there with his hand on his face, groaning (probably).